8 Good and Positive Parenting Tips for Teens
We have all gone through our teenage years, but for some reason, parents often find it difficult to handle this period with their own children. However, you can always improve the situation. Below, we share simple rules and tips to help foster a better relationship between parents and teenagers.- Presumption of Innocence
Modern youth may seem incomprehensible to you, and their interests or passions might feel intimidating. However, letting go of prejudices will greatly benefit your relationship. For example, unusual or provocative clothing with gothic elements—such as corsets, lace, long gloves, or watch mechanisms—is not necessarily a sign that your child is involved with a dangerous or rebellious crowd.
This could simply mean your teenager is interested in the steampunk movement, a science fiction genre romanticizing the 19th century. Teens interested in steampunk are often knowledgeable about history and literature. Rather than dismissing or forbidding strange clothes, ask sincerely what inspired their choice. You might learn new things about your teen and find yourself pleasantly surprised.
This approach applies not just to appearance. When faced with something unfamiliar or unsettling, don’t jump to negative conclusions. Instead, engage your curiosity and strive to understand your child. Even if trust is minimal, your teenager will be happy to share their interests and knowledge with you if you show genuine interest. - Trust
Trust is vital for teens. Teenagers are often guarded and suspicious. If you're uncertain about something, ask your child directly rather than invading their privacy by reading their diaries or messages. If a teen suspects you are spying, they will simply become more secretive, increasing tension in your relationship.
Advice:
If you want to build a more trusting relationship with your child, consider taking our psychological Parenting Mentor Test. Based on your responses, you'll get a detailed analysis of your relationship and personalized recommendations to strengthen positive areas and address negative dynamics in your parent-teen relationship. - Say “No” to Outright Prohibitions
As tempting as it is to use phrases like, "No, because I said so," or "Become an adult, then you can decide," try to avoid them. Strict prohibitions often lead to rebellion and protest.
Follow these steps instead:
• Always explain the reasons behind your prohibitions.
• Then, listen to your child's arguments and opinions. Do not skip this step!
• Try to negotiate and find compromises together. - Lead the Riot!
A great way to connect with your child is to share in their hobbies, especially the unique ones. You'll also gain more insight into their environment and interests. Be creative! For instance, if your child is interested in the gothic subculture, cemeteries, or vampires, visit a Torture Museum together. If they're interested in elves, they will appreciate if you join them in nature to enjoy sunsets and unique landscapes. Plan to attend archery events or a medieval festival together. - Give Your Teen a Role Model
If you feel your parental authority isn’t enough, introduce your teen to a respected historical or literary figure that matches their interests. This role model could be an athlete, traveler, writer, military leader, or diplomat from the past. Studying the biographies of Bruce Lee, Napoleon, Jack London, or Ernest Hemingway together can be enlightening. When you need support, you can say, "Do you think Napoleon would let this stop him?" or "What would Bruce Lee say about your lack of motivation?" - Sign a Family Contract or Agreement
A family "contract" is a helpful tool for encouraging responsibility. It works like a family code. On one side, write down your expectations for your child's studies, homework, curfew, etc. If something isn’t met, remove a privilege from the allowed list. Make the list of permitted activities impressive, and allow your teen as much freedom as possible as long as it’s not harmful. In this way, consequences for misbehavior are natural and follow the agreement signed by your teen, rather than coming directly from the parent. - Put Yourself in Your Teen's Shoes
To prevent worsening a conflict with your teenager, stay calm during or after an argument—don’t let anger lead to regretful actions. Remember yourself at their age: you noticed adult shortcomings and insincerity but were still figuring out important life choices. Relationships may have felt exciting yet daunting, and feeling “alone against the world” came in waves.
Recall the mottos that guided you in youth, maybe lyrics from your favorite songs. This will help you empathize and better understand your teen's feelings, including what led them to any particular behavior. - Don’t Ignore Uncomfortable Topics
Teens today have access to information about sex, drugs, and alcohol. Forbidding a 14-year-old from watching movies with romantic scenes is futile. Instead, use such moments to discuss relationships, self-respect, and health. News about suicides or drugs is a chance to learn your teen’s views and discuss prevention if needed.
Advice:
You can better understand your relationship with your teen by taking our unique Parenting Mentor Test. Upon completing it, you’ll receive an in-depth analysis of your parenting approach, strengths, and areas to improve. The provided advice will help both you and your teen get more out of your relationship.