Aggressive behavior in childhood. Types of aggression in child development
Aggression is a type of behavior intended to cause physical or emotional harm to another person or to assert power over others.At the same time, aggression is not always negative. Sometimes, it’s a way for a child to express complex inner feelings or dissatisfaction. Elements of aggression can be essential for children in sports, competitive games, or even in friendships, where they learn to assert their own needs and rights. Aggression can help children adapt to their environment and protect their boundaries and individuality.
All children display aggression to varying degrees.
Types of aggression:
- Physical: hitting, pushing, pinching, biting, pulling hair, and so on.
- Verbal: insults, shouting, or raising their voice.
- Irritation: Responding rudely, ignoring their name or requests, or speaking in an annoyed tone.
- Auto-aggression: Self-directed aggression, such as pulling out eyelashes or eyebrows, biting nails, or biting the skin on their lips.
Parents often start encountering aggression in children around the age of 2. The child may begin to surprise them with obvious aggressive acts, such as hitting, pinching, or biting adults and peers. Public tantrums with crying and rolling on the floor may also become more frequent.
This process of showing aggression is normal. It is an expression of instincts and emotions that children do not yet know how to express differently. At age 2, children are just starting to learn the norms of behavior in society. Therefore, a hungry two-year-old may get angry at their mother and act aggressively—throwing toys, screaming, biting, etc. In play with other children, a grievance may turn into hitting with toys or biting and pinching.
Punishing and scolding a two-year-old for showing aggression is not effective. Instead, show them that their actions cause upset or pain.
- Don’t call them “bad” or “a fighter”. Try saying: “You are a good kid! Why are you behaving like this? Look, the boy got hurt.”
- Teach compassion. Show care for birds and animals. Show sympathy for other children who get hurt. Help others, such as assisting a woman with a stroller. Show your child how to be kind and caring.
- Encourage kindness. Praise your child for any effort to help others, reminding them that they are kind and good.
As children grow and develop, up to adolescence, they will go through age-related crises, which can sometimes trigger aggressive behavior.
Advice:
The most important rule when dealing with an aggressive child is not to respond with aggression.
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At each stage of a child’s aggressive behavior, it is accompanied by one or several characteristics:
Signs of excessive aggression in children:
- High sensitivity of the nervous system, or high excitability. This could be an age-related or personal trait. High excitability can be managed with proper sleep, nutrition, and healthy physical activity. Sometimes, consulting a child psychologist or therapist is needed.
- Poor self-control. This may also be age-related. Teach your child to manage emotions. Games that help control emotions can be useful. For example, in the "Orange" game, the child lies on their back with arms and legs spread. Pretend an orange is by their left hand. "Now squeeze it with all your strength," making a fist for 7-8 seconds, then relax. Repeat with the right hand.
- Low cognitive development. Engage in conversations, answer their questions about the world, and find activities they enjoy, such as model building, drawing, or acting, to help them socialize.
- Low self-esteem. Adjust your parenting approach so your child feels valued and important. Consider getting a pet, and show interest in their hobbies and life.
Thus, the key to addressing aggression in children is to help them understand that everyone is different, and the world is not simply bad or cruel. As their behavior changes, so does the world around them.