Conflict Resolution and Problem Solving Management for Teens
We have been taught how to peacefully coexist with others since early childhood, and this is what we strive to teach our children. However, deliberately avoiding stressful situations can unfortunately result in the development of a fear of conflict.Many of us do not know how to behave during confrontation, how to guide it constructively, or benefit from it. Most importantly, we are often unable to teach our children these skills, leaving them to face conflicts on their own.
Both in childhood and adolescence, conflict is an essential part of development. How can conflict help shape a successful personality? A conflict is an open confrontation arising from mutually exclusive interests and positions.
A conflict situation is a build-up of tension that contains the true reason for disagreement. Conflicts play a significant role in our daily lives—they are not always negative. What matters is that, through resolution, contradictions can be smoothed over.
Advice:
Take our Parenting Mentor Test to find out how you can help your child resolve issues with peers and navigate conflict by fostering cooperation and positive interaction. As a result of the test, you’ll receive detailed recommendations on teaching your teen to address and resolve conflicts.
Today, the environment created by teenage conflicts presents a real challenge. Teens are especially prone to conflict, and their approaches to managing it start to develop early in life. Common strategies in response to conflict include:
The ideal solution is to seek compromise and ensure the needs of everyone involved are considered.
Psychologists identify the following types of teenager–parent conflict:
- Conflicts caused by instability in the parental relationship, such as constant changes in how the child is evaluated.
- Conflicts arising from overprotection (excessive care and high expectations).
- Conflicts caused by lack of respect for independence (strict control and guidance).
- Conflicts resulting from parental authority (a desire to have one’s way at any cost).
It is important for teens to be accepted within their group and to reach a certain status, which often shapes their self-image and impacts future relationships at home, work, and beyond.
When adults judge teenagers based on their norms or harshly criticize their appearance or lifestyle, it can worsen the situation and increase tension. As a result, teens are pressured from both sides: the desire to gain approval and status among peers encourages conformity, while parental opposition creates further conflict.
Teens often feel caught in the middle—meeting the demands of one side leads to judgment from the other.
Growing misunderstandings between parents and adolescents frequently lead to conflict. Parents facing difficulties with their teens should remember that these challenges are common for virtually all families.
Ways to Resolve Adolescent Conflicts
Remember, the root of such behavior in teens is their need to gain control over their own lives, to become independent, and to define their sense of self. This pursuit of autonomy can sometimes be overwhelming for parents.
Desire for independence often manifests in rejection of traditions and behavioral norms, which can provoke a negative response from adults and escalate conflict.
Adults should start with self-reflection regarding their own attitudes. Many parents feel unprepared for teenage challenges, often thinking, "I don’t know what to do!" Parents sometimes view their child’s push for independence as an attack on their authority, which can lead to a power struggle and a growing gulf of misunderstanding.
This becomes a vicious cycle. Parents believe they are acting out of concern for their children’s wellbeing, while teens feel misunderstood despite having done nothing wrong.
Even parents who have fostered relationships built on trust may feel lost in these moments. However, the values they instilled remain, as do their child’s love and need for parental involvement and understanding.
If a conflict causes significant stress, we recommend:
-
Avoid expecting too much from your child or making excessive demands;
-
Strive to understand your teen’s feelings, but don’t push too hard; instead, guide them toward positive solutions to their problems;
-
Be a patient and attentive listener—if your teen is talking about their challenges, it’s a good sign they will be able to work them out;
-
Encourage your teen not to withdraw or isolate themselves;
-
Always be ready to communicate; being available is more important than any other priorities;
-
Encourage your teen’s positive qualities;
-
Support their hobbies and interests;
-
If your child becomes distant or avoids others, consider seeking help from a psychologist.
By helping your teen cope with their internal conflicts and maintaining a friendly, understanding home environment, you better equip them to handle future challenges. Always acknowledge the existence of conflict rather than ignoring it—a clearly defined problem is already half solved.
Main Types and Causes of Conflict in Adolescence:
-
Intrapersonal conflict. Occurs when a teen is dissatisfied with their own life, friendships, studies, self-confidence, or support network.
-
Interpersonal conflicts. Arise when individuals with differing characters, beliefs, or interests cannot get along.
-
Conflicts between an individual and a group. This occurs when someone takes a position that differs from the group.
Intergroup conflict. Typically results from contradictions or ideological differences between groups.
As teens mature and prepare for adulthood, conflicts with parents often intensify. In harmonious families, these disagreements are resolved smoothly, and parents and teens develop shared perspectives.
It’s important to note that teens’ critical attitudes toward their parents’ positions are not always negative. Sometimes, disputes of opinion prompt parents to reflect and adapt. This requires parents to keep an open mind, understand their teen’s interests, and respect new trends in society and culture.
Remember, as a parent, your role at this time is not just to build a new kind of relationship with your teenager but also to reorient your own life, which often previously revolved around your child. As your teen gains independence, feelings of emptiness may arise for parents. Paradoxically, some parents prefer to solve their teen’s problems rather than confront that void.