Developing a Relationship with Your Child: 10 Steps for a Mother to Improve Her Relationship with Her Teenage Daughter
The adolescent years can be the most challenging period in life, both for children and for their parents. Did it feel easy to get along with your daughter just yesterday, but now it seems like a wall has formed between you? Don’t worry! Every family faces this stage.It can be hard for a mother to adjust to her once-little girl starting to grow up. Accepting your now-adult child isn’t always easy. The ups and downs of teenage emotions often lead to family disagreements. How can you avoid this? First, accept that your child is growing up. It’s important to find the right way to communicate. Some parents reject every change in their children, which only leads to the most serious and long-lasting conflicts.
A teenage girl needs her mother’s presence more than ever. A mother serves as a role model for her daughter. By observing her mother, a teen learns about femininity and how to build relationships with others. The mother’s most important task is to keep the lines of communication open with her teenage child.
Advice:
If you want to understand how to build a better relationship with your daughter, we recommend taking a unique Parenting Mentor Test. The results will help you analyze your relationship and find the best way to connect with your daughter.
10 Steps for a Mother to Improve Her Relationship with Her Daughter
- Step 1. Show Interest in Your Daughter’s Life
Take an interest in her hobbies, the music she likes, and the style of clothes she prefers. To maintain your connection, stay informed about her interests and friends. Show your interest respectfully and avoid criticizing her tastes. Try listening to some of her favorite music; you might even find a song you enjoy! - Step 2. Talk to Your Daughter Without Judgment
Your goal is to support, not criticize. Your daughter should feel safe sharing her feelings with you, even if what she says surprises you. Stay calm, offer advice, and gently guide her. - Step 3. Support Your Daughter’s Beauty Experiments
Every girl wants to feel beautiful. Adolescence is a time of self-discovery, and girls often compare themselves to celebrities or influencers. Avoid joking about her appearance, as it can cause insecurities. Instead, arrange a joint trip to a beauty salon or stylist. Remind her that true beauty has no standard and that every person is unique. Give her examples of famous people with distinctive looks. - Step 4. Be Affectionate Thoughtfully
Teenagers can seem distant, but they still need love and hugs. Don’t force your affection; wait for the right moment, like when she’s in a good mood or facing difficulties and needs comfort. - Step 5. Respect Your Daughter’s Feelings
If your 12-year-old falls in love for the first time, never make fun of her feelings—they are very real to her. Support her, ask about her crush, and share stories about your own first love. Avoid speaking poorly about her boyfriend; instead, discuss any concerns by talking about similar traits in another person. Let her see that you don’t dislike him personally, just some qualities. - Step 6. Discuss the Dangers of Drugs, Alcohol, and Smoking
Set a good example—there is nothing more convincing than a successful mother with healthy habits! Explain the consequences and share stories of people affected by addiction. If your daughter tries smoking, don’t insult or punish her. Instead, calmly let her try it at home while clearly expressing your views, without creating a scandal. - Step 7. Talk Openly About Sex
Sex is unfairly taboo in many households. Your daughter needs to know about contraception, its purpose, sexually transmitted diseases, and how to protect herself. If she wants to discuss her first sexual experience, don’t push her away—listen as a friend and adviser. - Step 8. Teach Money Management
Help your daughter learn to budget her pocket money. Decide on an amount together and let her spend it as she decides. If she runs out, don’t give more before the next period; this helps her learn financial responsibility. Trust her choices and avoid micromanaging her spending. - Step 9. Let Your Daughter Be Herself
If you dreamed of being a ballerina, it doesn’t mean your daughter does. Don’t try to remake her in your image—let her develop her unique personality, including career choices. Put aside your own unfulfilled dreams and support your daughter in finding her path, helping her realize her potential. - Step 10. Don’t Blame
If your daughter makes a mistake after not following your advice, support her instead of criticizing. Teenagers often view problems as catastrophes. Remember how things felt at her age, and forgive her emotional ups and downs. Let her know adolescence is temporary and no problem is insurmountable. Share your own stories of overcoming difficulties to encourage her optimism and resilience.