How to Avoid Conflicts at School: What Triggers Aggression?

When a child goes to school, they begin to learn independence. This marks the start of their journey toward self-determination. Naturally, this is a critical period in any person's life. School aggression is one of the most troubling issues in our society, as everyone experiences school bullying differently. Some children become withdrawn, others actively stand up to aggressors, but there are unfortunate cases where a child’s mental health breaks down, leading to tragic consequences, including suicide or violence.

Parents must be especially attentive to their children during the crisis ages of 6 to 7 and 12 to 15. Growing up, encountering changes in status, and hormonal shifts can change a young person dramatically. A once quiet and calm child can suddenly become aggressive and initiate bullying. To prevent critical situations in the classroom, parents need to stay involved in their child's life. Unfortunately, busy schedules often mean parents substitute quality time with expensive gifts or money. However, material wealth alone is not enough for a child’s happiness. They need direct communication and shared time with you much more.

School conflicts can take several forms: between two girls, two boys, a boy and a girl, or one child and a group of children. Conflicts involving two boys tend to be the most aggressive, with boys more often showing physical aggression than girls. Conflicts between girls usually remain verbal, but fights do sometimes happen. In conflicts between a boy and a girl, there is often a physical component from the boy. Group bullying is the most dangerous form of school conflict and requires immediate intervention by the parents of all children involved.
 

Advice:
To understand whether your child is prone to aggression—and to assess the comfort of their school and family environment—we recommend taking our unique Parenting Mentor Test. You will not only be able to analyze your family situation, but also receive personalized advice from psychologists.

Triggers of Aggression at School

What provokes students to act aggressively toward peers:
  1. Social inequality. Less affluent children may envy wealthier peers, while wealthy children may look down on those with less. Conflicts may arise from clothing that isn’t fashionable or differences in spending money on entertainment.

    What to do? Talk with children and explain that people should not be judged by their appearance or financial situation—human qualities are what really matter.
  2. Family environment. Children who become aggressors often mimic the behavior they see at home. If a father is violent toward a mother, the child may hit female classmates, for example.

    What to do? Parents must take charge of the situation. Teach your child how to treat others by setting a positive example through your own actions.
  3. Envy. Children’s aggression is often aimed at peers with outstanding abilities—top students or talented children. Sometimes other children ostracize them or organize bullying.

    What to do? Avoid excessive praise. Some parents overly convince their child they are the best. When faced with someone more skilled, it can create rivalry and resentment. Teach respect for other children's achievements and encourage your child to succeed on their own merits.
  4. Aggressive media environment. Unsupervised computer use and exposure to inappropriate TV programs can provoke aggressive behavior.

    What to do? Monitor what your child watches. Information that a child's developing mind processes should be filtered. If your child sees something inappropriate, discuss it openly and explain why such content is harmful.
  5. Negative influences. Children who are passive or easily manipulated may be influenced by aggressors. Kids often form groups based on shared interests. The worst scenario is when that interest is bullying a classmate.

    What to do? Make sure you spend enough time with your child so they don't seek validation or attention elsewhere—or try to assert themselves by bullying others.

Advice:
We know you care about your child and are trying to raise them to be kind and empathetic! Take our Parenting Mentor Test now to learn which areas of your child's character may need more attention, and discover ways to nurture their best qualities.