How to be a good example and role model for your child
A parenting strategy that always works is setting a good example. Children learn their first lessons about what is normal and what is not, what is good and what is bad, by observing their parents. None of us are perfect, and sometimes we wish we were different. But life, like our relationships with our children, is not a competition, but a process in which everyone changes over time. Having children gives you a chance to examine yourself and your perspective on life more closely. You might want to adjust some of your outlooks, knowing your attitude could shape the kind of person your child becomes.- Accept Yourself for Who You Are
Show yourself respect and don't be overly critical. Avoid scolding yourself for every minor mistake: spilling a cup of tea, overboiling coffee, forgetting house keys, or taking a wrong turn and getting stuck in traffic. Try not to be harsh with yourself, or at least, don't do it out loud.
Excessive self-criticism is very harmful to children. Psychologists note that self-critical children tend to suffer from low self-esteem and increased anxiety; they struggle to start new activities because they fear failure. For them, any imperfect result feels like total failure. Naturally, it's hard for such children to learn, as mistakes are part of any process.
Be mindful of how you talk about yourself. Do you say things like, “I’m too fat for these clothes,” “I’m too old for this,” “Math/sports/dancing were never my thing,” “Just my luck—as always”? Being self-confident does not mean being arrogant. Mostly, it means accepting yourself, flaws and all, even if you don’t always achieve everything you set out to do. This way, your child will see an example of someone who doesn’t let past mistakes or imperfections stop them from moving forward, reaching goals, and enjoying life. - Altruism
Show kindness to others and nurture strong relationships with friends and family. If you can, participate in charity events and involve your child. Don’t ignore someone who needs help on the street—call for assistance. Show respect to elderly people and pregnant women by letting them go first. When your child asks “why?” explain simply and clearly: the goal is to make others feel good and happy. Tell your child the world is better when others feel good, and living in a better world is more pleasant and joyful.
Young children naturally show compassion and want to help. This will grow stronger if you also demonstrate kindness, not self-absorption.
Sociologists have found that friendly and considerate children are the most popular among their peers. Also, being able to help and support others will benefit your child as they navigate life’s challenges. Helping others adds meaning to life and strengthens the sense of self-worth. - Ability to Rest and Relax
Despite the fast pace of modern life, protect yourself from stress and tension. Remember, your child observes you and learns habits from you. Balance active leisure (playing sports, hiking, or walking in nature) with quiet downtime (“special” tea times with treats, reading together, or watching a good cartoon). Often, a tense mood at home can be eased simply by suggesting, “Let’s take a break—why don’t we go to the cinema?”
Advice:
If you want to better understand your child’s state of mind, take our psychological Parenting Mentor Test. By answering a series of questions, you’ll receive a detailed description of your current relationship with your child along with personalized tips and recommendations to make your family atmosphere even warmer and more trusting.
- Live for the Moment
Focusing too much on the future can increase stress, which affects everyone’s emotional well-being. It’s great when children learn from someone who not only works hard but also enjoys life—not always rushing to get things done at the cost of healthy eating and sleep. It’s difficult for a child to imagine what happiness looks like if their parents are always busy and too exhausted to enjoy time together.
A child who can enjoy the present moment is calmer, more adaptable, and not afraid of changes. This helps them grow in a more balanced way, fosters creativity, and makes them open to new experiences. Parents can relearn this skill too: celebrate any small opportunity, and look for the positives. For example, a traffic jam is a chance to connect, listen to music, and share thoughts. Missed a concert or kid’s show? Use it as a chance to chat in a café and share some ice cream. - Learn Something New
Your child will be more willing to try new things in life if they see you doing the same. Be brave— it’s never too late to start learning something, whether it’s skiing, swimming, surfing, diving, picking up a new language, or learning computer skills—anything that you enjoy. Mistakes are normal along the way.
Take setbacks calmly and keep moving forward. By watching you handle challenges, your child gains important experience. In the future, they’ll be less likely to hesitate when considering a new hobby or asking, “Will I succeed?” Failures won’t seem so dramatic.