How to Be a Good Friend to Your Kids—and Why It Matters
The strongest and most defining relationship throughout life is that between parents and children. This bond has the power to make life difficult or, on the contrary, help both parents and children understand and appreciate the beauty of the world and human connections. Family life becomes much more pleasant and easy when relationships are built on trust and friendship. When parents treat their child as a beloved family member—not as a project or a source of stress—it fosters a more supportive environment.How can you achieve this?
- See the best in your child. When parents focus too much on their “parental duties,” they can become overly critical of their child's behavior. For example, parents may worry about their child being sick often, being too active, or, conversely, being shy. However, behind every trait—even undesirable ones—there is often an unmet need and a positive side.
Example: Imagine an older brother, age five, who pinches or pushes his younger sibling while they're playing. Some parents may see this as aggression. Others, who seek the best in their child, might realize the older child feels bored or lonely and wants to join in the play. If parents encourage group play, the older child’s energy can be redirected positively, teaching him how to connect and play kindly with his younger brother. - Use criticism sparingly. Remember that children take criticism seriously. Your words don't just describe reality—they shape your child’s character and self-perception.
For example, a lively parent may not understand a thoughtful, slow-moving child. If the parent constantly labels the child as “lazy” or “slow,” the child may grow up believing these negative descriptions are part of their personality, damaging their self-esteem. It may take until adulthood and self-reflection for your child to accept themselves and rebuild confidence.
Remember! Children form their self-image based on what their parents say about them. - Show care and love for your child unconditionally. The key for any child to feel healthy and happy is the belief, “I am good the way I am.” This strengthens self-esteem and trust between parent and child, so your child doesn’t feel pressure to earn your love and attention.
Advice:
If you want to truly understand how your child feels in your family, take our psychological Parenting Mentor Test. Your responses will provide an analysis of your relationship, a detailed description, and practical recommendations to help you become a more attentive and supportive parent for your child. - Be the first to reconcile after an argument. Do this while playing or during normal routines. Earning your child’s trust and respect means showing them you provide support and protection. From the beginning, you care for your child’s needs—nutrition, hygiene, sleep, outdoor exercise. Continue to anticipate and respond to the changing needs of your growing child before they become demands. This will help your child feel calmer and more cooperative, reduce conflicts, and foster friendlier communication. The secret is to anticipate your child’s needs, not just react to them.
For example, offer your child a snack before they realize they’re hungry. Or, if your child is tired during study time, offer a short exercise break when you notice the first yawns. Likewise, if you can’t play dolls or cars again, suggest reading a book or sharing a story about cars or princesses instead. - Stay positive—and teach your child to stay positive too.
Life can be tough, and even if you’re close to your child, don’t expect them to be your “friend” in the sense of providing adult-level support. Children aren’t equipped to process your problems with your spouse, finances, or other adults. Often, when you’re in a bad mood or annoyed, children blame themselves for your negative feelings. Show your child how to handle negativity by example.
Play the “Translator” game together: Take negative phrases from your or your child’s remarks or from news broadcasts, and “translate” them into positive language.
For example, “We lose a lot of time in these terrible traffic jams” becomes “Thanks to the traffic jam, we have more time to talk to each other.”
“Nobody wants to be friends with mean people” becomes “A kind person always has many friends.”
“It’s pouring outside” becomes “After the rain stops, the air will be fresh and pleasant.”
Being a parent isn’t just about being older physically—it’s about being emotionally mature. If you can manage your emotions and seek support from other adults when needed, you spare your children from the weight of adult problems. This gives them a better chance for emotional well-being. Children need your warmth and guidance at every stage—and they depend on your friendship as well as your wisdom.
Advice:
By taking our psychological Parenting Mentor Test, you’ll learn about your child’s development stage and discover what your child needs from you right now. At the end of the test, you’ll get personalized tips and recommendations for building even more trust and warmth in your relationship.