How to Maintain Respect in the Family: Damaging Effects of Yelling at Your Spouse
Family life requires daily effort. Both partners must make concessions and compromises for a harmonious relationship. It's not always possible to resolve conflicts immediately. Sometimes disagreements arise between spouses. When parents argue, it negatively impacts their children. If the atmosphere at home is tense, your child is the first to suffer.If your child witnesses an argument, the best way to minimize the impact is to stop the conflict and apologize to your child. He or she needs to feel that, despite the disagreement, you still love them.
Infants and adolescents both react painfully to family conflicts, though their reactions may look different. Young children may act out, behave badly, or even experience developmental delays. Older children may withdraw, rebel, leave home, or act impulsively.
Advice:
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Let's consider the dangers of family arguments for your child
- Psychological trauma. A person's psyche forms up to around twenty years of age. Worldview and behavior patterns are shaped during this time. If a child grows up surrounded by quarrels and insults, it can cause lasting psychological damage. This can lead to anxiety, increased aggression, susceptibility to harmful habits, and addiction to alcohol or drugs.
- Emotional distress. The child is under significant stress. Witnessing family quarrels exposes a child to a wide range of negative emotions. They feel powerless to change things. This sense of helplessness can affect them well into adulthood.
- Unhealthy behavior models. If you or your partner shout and insult each other, your child may come to see this behavior as normal. Rather than questioning your behavior, they are likely to adopt it as their own. This can lead to disruptive behavior and difficulty relating to others.
- Losing parental authority. Children may use your own behavior against you. If you yell at your spouse in front of your child, they may do the same to you. If you speak badly about your parents in front of your child, eventually they may repeat those words to you. You cannot demand respect if you do not show it. Set a positive example in how you communicate with loved ones, and your child will follow.
- Feelings of guilt. Why does your child feel guilty about family arguments? Even though they are not involved, children often believe the world revolves around them, so they blame themselves for your conflicts. This can escalate from anxiety and insecurity to a deep sense of guilt and may even result in depression. In severe cases, children might attempt self-harm or worse, motivated by a desire to reconcile their parents.
- Declining performance. A child cannot focus on studies if they're constantly exposed to parental quarrels. Instead of concentrating on learning, their mind is absorbed by the stressful home environment. Negative experiences take up time and energy that could be used productively.
- Resentment towards parents. Ask yourself: do you really want your child to resent you? Often, children direct their anger at the parent they fear most during conflicts, but sometimes they see their mother not as a loved one, but as an adversary. Sometimes resentment lasts a lifetime. Some people are never able to reconcile with their parents, even after they're gone.
- Relationship difficulties. In severe cases, children may have trouble forming healthy relationships with the opposite sex as adults. Occasionally, rejection of the opposite-sex parent manifests in complicated sexual identity or relationship issues in adulthood.
- Repeating negative behavior patterns in the next generation. Children may imitate your example. If you resort to physical or emotional abuse, your son may do the same in his future relationships. If you criticize or shout at your partner daily, your daughter may repeat these behaviors in her own family. To prevent this, you must control your emotions and set a positive example.
There is no universal solution for every family. Differences in background and upbringing matter. However, respecting a few key principles can help create a respectful home.
- Treat each other with respect. Never speak to your partner in an offensive tone.
- Do not bottle up resentment. Discuss anything that makes you unhappy with your spouse. Otherwise, unresolved issues may lead to an uncontrollable outburst.
- Show love and care. Mutual attention and support are essential for avoiding conflict. Listen to your partner, keep your promises, and remember what matters to your spouse.
- Handle disagreements discreetly. Never insult or act aggressively towards each other in front of your child.
- Do not involve your child in conflicts. Never make your child part of parental disputes. Do not try to win your child to your side—your child loves you both.