My Child Feels Anxious About School: 9 Ways to Help Them Cope
A child may feel anxious about school for various reasons. It's important to determine what exactly is causing these negative feelings: the study process itself, or social relationships within the school community. Below are several steps that can help your child feel more confident at school and ease tensions around learning.- Teach gratitude by saying “thank you”. When you say “thank you” to someone who helps you, it opens the door to a new, pleasant connection and possibly even friendship. A child who learns to appreciate what they have and express gratitude to others will build friendships more easily at school. Additionally, gratitude positively influences a child’s mental state, reducing aggression and strengthening stress resilience.
- Encourage friendliness and good deeds. Research shows that children who perform kind acts earn greater respect and positive attention from peers. Teach your child that helping others for no specific reason can be rewarding. They might enjoy sharing cookies or snacks just for the pleasure of it. Responsive children who offer a spare pencil or a piece of paper will find it easier to fit in with classmates.
- If your child has a diagnosis (such as ADHD, ADD, etc.) that affects learning, this must be acknowledged. At the beginning of the school year, consider adding extra vitamins and supplements to your child’s diet that support concentration and stabilize the nervous system. Also, check that their diet does not include food additives that could overstimulate them.
- Facilitate introductions between your child and the teacher. Be the bridge between your child and their teacher. Take the initiative in building this connection in a confident and positive way rather than waiting for the teacher to act first. When introducing your child to the teacher, share a few words about your child and then introduce the teacher, explaining their role. This helps your child see the teacher as a trustworthy adult.
- Support the teacher’s authority. Be mindful of what you say. Don’t speak negatively about teachers. This is vital for building your child’s confidence in this adult. Any seemingly harmless remark—about appearance, age, gender, nationality, or professional qualities—can give your child unnecessary reasons for concern.
Advice:
Find out if you’re doing everything possible to help your child adapt to school by taking our unique Parenting Mentor Test. Our experts will analyze your answers and provide a detailed overview of your relationship with your child, as well as personalized recommendations to help them feel calmer and more confident at school. - Encourage your child’s independence. If your child struggles with schoolwork, forgets to write down homework, or leaves notebooks and textbooks at home, supervise these activities. Gradually, as they gain confidence, hand over more responsibility. Try saying, “Maybe you’re grown up enough to pack your backpack on your own?” This motivates your child. If they struggle, reassure them: “That’s okay. We’ll wait until you’re ready to do it on your own.”
- Promote independent tasks. If your child is anxious about recalling or presenting new topics to the teacher, encourage them to tackle such assignments independently. Preparing a report or working on a project offers several benefits: they will understand and remember the topic better, earn respect from teachers and classmates, develop independent study skills for high school, and feel less anxious about making mistakes since the project is entirely their own work.
- Allow occasional breaks. Allow your child to occasionally skip classes, but make sure the reason is not to avoid a challenging subject or consequences of bullying. Absences should be agreed upon with an adult. For example, if your child asks to stay home, consider your response: “I’ve thought about it and decided you can skip school tomorrow/Friday, but next week, things will resume as usual.” This way, your child knows you are managing the situation.
- Create farewell and after-school traditions. Develop a special goodbye, such as “Have a great day, my hero!” to signal to your child that it’s time to shift focus from home to school. Likewise, have a special greeting when you reunite after school. This could prompt your child to share their impressions right away. Making these conversations a mealtime tradition can also be helpful—especially if something at school is causing worry for you or your child.