Parents Cursing and Swearing at Children: 10 Consequences
Rudeness is an unpleasant aspect of our society. Unfortunately, obscene language has become so common in everyday American life that it’s almost a social norm. Swearing is heard everywhere: on TV, public transport, in the streets, in stores, and even within families. Parents may insult the government, their neighbors, each other, and even their children. While swearing is often seen as a sign of disadvantage in lower social groups, profanity is also present among the upper classes and is sometimes considered “cool” or allowed. In any case, if you shout and swear at your children, you will have to face the consequences.When parents shout at their children with curses and foul language, it can lead to both internal and external consequences. This distinction is important. Internal consequences affect the child’s personality—shaping character traits, temperament, and socio-ethical norms. External consequences show up as distorted behavior in society.
Internal consequences:
- Emotional scars. Children always feel hurt when parents raise their voices. When obscene insults and accusations are directed at children, simply for being themselves, every offensive word leaves a lasting mark on the child’s sensitive soul.
- Development of complexes. No curse or insult can ever build up a child. The harsh words parents use toward boys and girls reveal their real attitude, deeply shaping self-esteem from an early age.
Example: Leslie grew up with her mother Penelope, a talented artist, and a father who drank. An unhealthy family environment and Penelope’s lack of confidence led her to work as a cleaner in a bar, where her speech became filled with harsh language. When Leslie was born, Penelope’s life became even harder. With no one else to vent to, she began calling Leslie “stupid”, “fool”, “idiot” and other hurtful names. From early childhood, Leslie was made to feel worthless. - Self-doubt. Complexes naturally cause self-doubt. This is unfortunate at any age, but especially damaging in adolescence—when teenagers’ emotions and self-image are very sensitive.
Example: Catherine was raising her daughter Julia on her own. Without time to cook healthy food, Catherine often bought fast food, and Julia gained excess weight. Not seeing her own role, Catherine would shout: “You are fat and lazy! Stop eating! Why did you come into this world when I wasn't ready to be a mother?!” Julia lost all self-confidence and developed suicidal thoughts. Thankfully, a school psychologist recognized this and was able to help. - Despair and powerlessness. When parents use foul language in anger, children feel many emotions, but mostly despair and powerlessness at not being able to calm their mom or dad. They don’t know how to stop the terrible words. This pain leads to trauma, a feeling of emptiness, and trouble forming healthy relationships later in life.
- Negative energy. Some believe that the sound vibrations of abusive words carry negative energy. Since about 70% of the human body is water, some believe insulting words affect health and consciousness. Children raised in negativity often develop traits like envy, greed, or spite, and rarely enjoy good health.
Advice:
There’s a wealth of information about the power of speech. There are seminars and classes on how to speak well and express yourself clearly. If you’re wondering whether you should pay special attention to your speech, take our unique Parenting Mentor Test. Your results will show where you may need improvement and offer tips to help you communicate more positively and effectively.
External consequences:
- Imitation. The most obvious result is that children imitate adults. They copy parents’ behavior and language. Even if they don’t swear at home, they might use these words with friends at school or on the playground. Some adults may laugh, but there’s nothing funny about children using obscene language.
- Ignorance. Where dirty words are common, so are negative attitudes. People who use foul language show less interest in education and growth. Although swearing can occur in any social group, it’s more accepted where there’s a lack of ambition and learning. Sometimes, children from wealthy families use bad language to seem rebellious or cool.
- Immorality. Constant use of bad language encourages immorality. Children become more likely to display negative behaviors and attitudes. They often seek out friends who swear just to fit in, as groups with higher values often reject such behavior.
- Weak vocabulary. Swearing is often a sign of a poor vocabulary. Children exposed to frequent swearing may struggle in school, have trouble communicating, and find it difficult to maintain relationships as they grow older—including with friends, teachers, and even future partners or family.
- Vindictiveness and cruelty. Children verbally abused by parents often hold on to resentment. As they grow older, this may turn into a desire to hurt weaker children or seek revenge. When they become adults, they may even neglect or abandon their own aging parents as a form of payback for past pain.