Meeting Your Child's Needs: What Children Truly Require from Their Parents
Different cultures have varied parenting approaches, and today, parents decide individually how involved to be in their child’s life. Regardless, a parent’s influence remains central, and the success of this role is often reflected in the child’s happiness and satisfaction. However, children's needs evolve according to their age. For instance, a six-month-old's needs differ significantly from those of a preschooler or teenager.The main task for parents is to understand how their children’s needs evolve and to identify their priorities over time.
- Meeting Physiological Needs
To raise a well-adjusted individual, a child’s basic physiological needs must always be met correctly.
From birth, ensure your child's environment is healthy and safe. This means a well-lit room, regularly cleaned floors, fresh air, and maintaining a temperature below 21-22°C.
A balanced diet is crucial for healthy growth. Make sure your child gets enough protein and fat, and that carbohydrates don't dominate their meals.
Encourage your child to appreciate and care for their body through moderate physical activity. Hygiene routines and sports should be enjoyable, not used as punishment. Choose activities based on your child’s character and preferences. - Emotional Warmth and Physical Affection
For babies under one year, emotional warmth and physical affection are more important than intellectually stimulating toys or activities.
This is supported by a study from the 1970s involving children in a shelter. Children with “surrogate” mothers—women with intellectual disabilities who nursed, cuddled, and spoke kindly to them—showed a 20-30% higher intelligence level after two years compared to those without such care.
Your child's intellectual and emotional development largely depends on the love and attention received in their first two years. As they grow, other factors such as boundaries and parenting style become important, but your child's goodwill and emotional security will always support their overall development. - Being a Role Model
One of the most influential ways to guide your children is to set a positive example—not by simply pointing it out (“Look, Dad has exercised for a week! Do as he does!”), but through your daily actions. Healthy attitudes toward oneself, including self-care and nutrition, are learned in the family. If parents model good habits, children are likely to adopt them too. While you may not see a toddler routinely caring for their hygiene, these positive family routines become ingrained over time.
The same is true for attitudes toward others. Children who regularly see their parents in good spirits learn to find positives, develop hobbies, and stay optimistic even during setbacks. Though a child’s mood won't always be perfect, they'll retain the ability to be lighthearted and resilient.
Children also learn respect and courtesy by observing how you interact with elder family members, public officials, waitstaff, and bus drivers. Treat others kindly, and your child will likely follow suit.
Advice:
To discover which traits your child is adopting from you and learn about their individuality, try our psychological Parenting Mentor Test. By answering a set of questions, you’ll gain insight into your parent-child dynamics, considering your child’s character and needs. The Parenting Mentor Test will also offer tailored recommendations to best meet your child’s needs, based on their inclinations and temperament. - Building Trusting and Close Relationships with Relatives
No matter your child’s age, fostering trusting relationships helps them develop psychological strength, interact successfully in society, pursue goals, respect boundaries—their own and others’—and appreciate their relatives, while also learning to become independent at the right time.
- According to your child’s age, establish appropriate relationships using your parental role and available resources. For children under 3, the following are most important: physical affection (hugs and cuddles), positive identification with parents (“You’re like mom and dad! That’s wonderful! I love you!”), and the sense of being a team.
- By age 4, it's important for children to feel valued. Let them help with small chores (watering plants, feeding pets), and tell them stories about their birth and how everyone celebrated.
- By age 5, most children can handle short separations from their parents, but they still need demonstrations of love. Exchange handmade cards, create little gifts, take interest in your child's friendships and hobbies, and share your own.
- With children aged 6–7, discuss emotions freely, even negative ones. Never punish your child for their feelings, only for their actions. Anger and rage should not be punished. Share your own feelings, even unpleasant ones, to foster openness.
- For older children and teenagers, show your support. Avoid mocking or criticizing them in front of others. Share their hobbies, involve them in family decisions, and value their opinions.