Teaching Children Self-Respect and Self-Worth: How Positive Self-Esteem Helps
The success of our children often depends on properly developed self-esteem. A parent's task is to teach their child to think positively about themselves. Building self-respect should begin at a young age and must be done thoughtfully. Many parents make significant mistakes during upbringing, either raising children too strictly or, conversely, indulging every whim.What is instilled in a child's soul during childhood forms their personality. It is important to thoughtfully approach the development of self-esteem. There is a risk of inflating it. Extremely high self-esteem can be just as harmful as low self-esteem.
How can you help your child develop critical thinking and a realistic assessment of their abilities? How do you encourage your child to show respect towards you? We'll answer these questions in our article.
Advice:
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A child with healthy self-esteem can handle criticism constructively, believes in their own abilities, and isn't afraid to ask for help when needed. Such a child is friendly and respectful toward other children, considering them as equals.
A child with high self-esteem may try to dominate others. This child can be an aggressive leader who rarely accepts criticism. They may see themselves as superior and overlook their own shortcomings while noticing those of others. Such a child is convinced they are more talented or better than other kids.
How to adjust your child’s self-esteem:
- Teach your child to listen to others and accept constructive criticism. Make sure your child understands that criticism generally aims to help them grow and improve their skills, not to hurt them.
- Encourage your child to respect others. Explain that adults and children around them deserve the same respect they do and experience the same feelings, like pain, resentment, joy, and happiness.
How to boost your child's self-esteem:
- Speak to your child respectfully, as an equal. Ask for their advice in various situations, and use their suggestions to show that you value their opinion—even if it’s not entirely accurate.
- Invite your child to help you with simple tasks like cleaning or making dinner, and praise their efforts, even if they’re not perfect yet. Appreciate their progress as they learn.
Several ways to build your child’s self-esteem from an early age:
- Encourage leadership through play. To develop leadership skills, allow your child to take the lead during play. Let them choose the game and set the rules, and show interest and support by participating. This gives your child the opportunity to direct activities and build confidence.
- Give your child the right to choose. Support your child’s confidence and decision-making skills by providing choices—like which hat to wear or what to have in their sandwich. This not only fosters independence but also shows that you value their preferences.
- Engage in joint activities and crafts. Activities like drawing, clay modeling, reading, or watching educational programs together build trust and respect. Collaborative creativity strengthens your relationship—consider having a special craft box for projects you create together.
- Learn how to praise your child effectively! Praise your child for achievements, big or small—from school successes to learned words or creative efforts. Focus on positive feedback and help nurture their interests. If your child enjoys drawing, find a good art teacher; if they love swimming, enroll them in swim classes. The key is to avoid over-praising or setting unrealistic goals. Telling your child they must become a famous musician or athlete can undermine motivation by setting up unattainable expectations.
- Use discipline thoughtfully. When discipline is needed, keep in mind:
• Don’t humiliate or compare your child with others;
• Avoid aggression or physical punishment;
• Address issues promptly, not after your child has forgotten the event;
• Forgive your child after the consequence—don't keep reminding them of past mistakes;
• Don’t take away gifts as punishment;
• Don’t threaten to withdraw love after misbehavior;
• Don’t punish your child when they’re unwell;
• Don’t punish your child due to your own frustration after a hard day;
• Don’t punish if your child made every effort, even if the outcome was not perfect. - Model resilience in the face of setbacks. Show your child how to cope with mistakes and failures. If something goes wrong (e.g., a burnt cake), keep a positive attitude and try again. If your child doesn’t win a competition, encourage them and explain that failure is a chance to learn and grow, not a reason to give up.