Top 10 bad and unhealthy parenting habits

Top 10 Bad and Unhealthy Parenting Habits

1. Occasionally tell your child they're not good enough for you
   Constantly label your child based on small mistakes, like spilling tea, is a fast track to damaging their self-esteem. If they make a silly mistake, like putting salt in tea instead of sugar, call them names like "brat" or "dummy," or even say, "I'm so embarrassed." Stigmatize them ("You always break everything!"), compare them to others ("Julius Caesar wasn't throwing apple cores at your age"), and show with your expression that they're never quite enough.
2. Don’t trust your child. Control everything they do
   "Let me do it! Move aside, let me handle it! You can’t sharpen the pencil properly!"—these are very “encouraging” phrases for a three-year-old. Young children develop self-esteem by learning what others think of them and by experiencing what they can do on their own without help.
   If you notice your child keeping a diary, assume they’re hiding something from you—because what secrets could they have? You need to know everything “for their own good.” Regularly monitor their social media—there might be something interesting there. Dangers like alcohol, drugs, and crime are everywhere. So, always accompany your child to and from school, even if it’s just a five-minute walk—even if they’re already 16.
3. Overburden your child as much as possible
   Fill their schedule with every possible sport and activity. After school, make them attend music lessons (even if they hate it). On evenings, make them play football or something else—make sure they barely have enough time for homework. This will lead your child to spend every free moment resting, procrastinate on assignments, and avoid their studies. And if they somehow manage good grades, don’t praise them. In fact, avoid praising them at all.
4. Take no interest in your child’s life or support them
   Not all parents want their child to become independent and capable. They might begin expressing opinions or making decisions—who needs that? If your child tries to help you in the kitchen, forbid them: they might get hurt, or worse, ruin the meal. If they come home from school in a bad mood, don’t ask what's wrong. This way, your child won’t grow attached to you.
5. Convince your child that appearance is everything
   A psychologically healthy person knows looks aren’t everything and defines their own sense of beauty. But your job is to make sure your child thinks perfect skin and abs are all that matter! Start with yourself: constantly complain about your own appearance. Criticize others as well: "This one looks awful, that one is fat." Most importantly, criticize your child too—hold up their slimmer classmates as examples and tell them to eat less if they want to be beautiful.
    

   Advice:
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6. Break your promises
   Some people are always guarded in relationships. If you want your child to keep their distance—even in friendships—ignore these things. First, never keep your promises. Miss important events like their prom—after all, it’s “not a big deal.” If your son or daughter falls in love, discuss it openly in front of others, making sure your child can hear. Ignore their feelings: tell them things like, "Are you sad your friend is moving away? That's nothing! Do you know how many partings you’ll face in life?"
7. Be hypocritical—always, everywhere, with everyone
   There’s a saying: “Don’t teach your children—educate yourself,” because all moralizing is useless if you don’t follow your own advice. When visiting others, be polite and helpful, but at home, speak rudely and gossip about guests behind their backs. Let your child believe that hypocrisy is the same as politeness, and they'll probably reject both. If you want your child to grow up rude, forget words like “thank you” or “please.” Regularly ask, "What will people say?" to fill them with fear.
8. Create stressful situations for your child and criticize them often
   A child who is constantly exposed to stress may develop a sense of helplessness and believe that nothing depends on them. This is an effective way to make your child more manageable. Argue loudly at home, slam doors, wring your hands, criticize them for every messy sock or bad grade. This “will help” their academic performance.
9. Never praise your child’s achievements
   Is your child into music? Urgently talk them out of this “foolish” idea and don’t even consider buying them the guitar they've been dreaming about. “Who will hire you for that? You’ll get bored in days—it’s not worth spending money.” Stop encouraging them! Don’t praise their achievements, because they might choose a profession they like. If your child has strengths in the humanities, make them switch to a math-focused school so they’ll become “well-rounded.” Never mind if they dislike math. Pick a university and profession for them—at 17, they can’t understand anything about life, but they’ll be “grateful” later.
10. Use phrases guaranteed to lower your child's self-esteem
    We've compiled a list of such statements for you. If you don't use them yet, now’s the time to start.

• "If you behave this way, the wolf/doctor/tooth fairy will come and take you away."
• "Don’t cry! After all, you’re a boy/girl/descendant of the conquistadors."
• "Your father and I gave you everything... We dedicated our lives to you! We’re building your future with these calloused hands! And you still refuse to listen!"
• "When I was your age, I used to win boxing/running competitions, etc."
• "You’ll spend your vacation in the village regardless. I don’t care what you want."
• "Another bad grade means no more pocket money!"
• "Pick up those crumbs! Leave the table! Bow to the guests, I said!"