Top 10 selfish parents characteristics

Top 10 Selfish Parent Characteristics

1. The mother's desire to be attractive
   A new mother thinks about her appearance even in the delivery room. The growing trend of filming childbirth makes women focus even in inappropriate situations. The desire to look good is quite natural—and sometimes selfish. Young mothers are often overwhelmed, especially if breastfeeding, and require more nutrition. A month later, they may hardly recognize themselves in the mirror: disheveled hair, dark circles, extra weight, and worn-out clothes can all contribute.
   Suddenly, a mother remembers she is a woman too. She begins to show healthy self-care, asking her husband or relatives for help so she can have time to refresh herself. Making time for a manicure or a comfortable new haircut—something practical for caring for a baby—or buying nice home clothes all help her regain confidence.
2. The father's desire to spend time with his wife
   A wife's pregnancy is stressful for any man. Sexual desires remain, but a pregnant wife may not always be interested due to mood changes or medical advice. After childbirth, intimacy is further disrupted as the mother is constantly caring for the baby. Husbands often crave attention, which can cause tension in the relationship.
3. The mother's need for solitude
   This is a healthy form of self-care from a psychological perspective. Everyone needs personal space and time alone. When someone lacks this for too long, irritability arises. Mothers without support, constantly tending to the child, become stressed. It's perfectly reasonable to ask the husband to care for the baby so the mother can enjoy a couple of hours alone—perhaps walking in the park, relaxing at a café, or reading a book.
   Example:
   “One young mother looked tired but not irritated. Her husband was demanding, expecting her to be both a homemaker and a mother. Occasionally, when Ann felt overwhelmed, she'd ask her husband to look after their daughter Nicole and retreat to the bathroom for a few hours. She’d bathe and take care of herself. Many women feel comforted by self-care. Sometimes she cried from the tension. But after time alone, she emerged feeling renewed.”
4. The father's refusal to play with the child
   Many women find it difficult to persuade men to play with their children, regardless of the child's age. While media portrays dads as playful and fun, real life is different. Many men are afraid of infants, with fatherly instincts often emerging only when children are around three years old. Sometimes, selfishness is at play—when fathers consider themselves too adult to engage at their child’s level.
5. The need for a social life
   Both parents experience this. Each has friends, individually or together, whom they miss. The older generation may frown upon this self-care, considering it abandonment for fun. But taking breaks to preserve the relationship during early childhood is essential for family well-being. Parents need rest, too.
   Example:
   When Tiffany and Edda had a baby, their parents were thrilled. When the new parents needed time together—like a restaurant visit or seeing friends—their elders didn’t take it well. Edda had a clever solution. Whenever they wanted to go out, one would call the grandparents saying, “Hello! Little Sammy misses his grandparents. We’ll bring him over to play.” This way, they had free time, and their parents were happy.
   

   Advice:
   Take our unique test Parenting Mentor Test to better understand the challenges you face raising a child. With your results, you’ll discover whether your approach is effective. The test recommendations will help you eliminate negative feelings toward your child or partner.

6. The father's unwillingness to help the mother
   This type of selfishness has become common, but it's a mistake! If a man doesn’t help with household responsibilities after having a child, the home can become chaotic and overwhelming for the woman. Even if he cannot help personally due to work, he should ensure someone assists—be it relatives or hired help. It is the husband’s responsibility to keep his wife happy and not leave her exhausted and sad.
7. The mother's desire to sleep with the child
   This is a manifestation of maternal selfishness, borne out of exhaustion. Mothers may let their babies sleep with them to avoid getting up at night repeatedly. Children quickly get used to co-sleeping, and later, it can take days for them to adjust to sleeping alone. This can also hurt the marriage because the couple’s intimacy suffers when a child sleeps in their bed.
8. The father's excessive desire to spend time outside the home
   Some men show extreme selfishness by spending unnecessary time away from home, sometimes because intimacy with their wife has decreased. They may not necessarily cheat, but they might start staying out late, socializing, or drinking with friends—especially if their wife is now fully focused on the child, seems less attractive, or is more demanding. This behavior strains or destroys the family.
9. Lashing out at the child due to irritability
   Parents sometimes shout at their children, but often this is not about the child's actions. Sometimes conflicts between parents cause a mother to hesitate expressing anger toward her husband, so it gets directed at the children. This can result in a series of unreasonable punishments for even minor mistakes. Instead, parents could better manage negative emotions, such as through sport or yoga, rather than taking it out on children.
10. Fighting over the child after divorce
    This is the highest degree of selfishness between spouses and toward the child. Divorce often stems from the egotism of one party, but the ultimate manifestation is intentionally causing psychological harm by treating the child as an object to be divided.