Top Stressors for Children: How to Deal with Anxiety at School and Relieve Stress — Relaxation and Stress Reduction Techniques for Children
People often assume that stress is an adult issue, as adults are expected to carry the burdens of various problems that can cause stress and even depression. Absorbed in their own worries, parents may overlook the stressful situations their children face on a daily basis. It’s only when children begin to show signs of deep sadness or depression that parents often take notice.Many parents wonder, “What stress could children possibly have? Aren’t they just playing and having fun?” In reality, children face many stressors. While parents can offer some protection from negative influences at home, they can’t shield kids from every challenge they’ll encounter at school, on the playground, or in kindergarten. Any of these environments can be potential sources of stress for a child.
Top Stressors for Children in School
- Teachers. This human factor can be one of the most significant sources of stress when a child first starts school. For many kids, it’s not just the unfamiliar surroundings or new peers, but rather the presence of teachers, who hold a position of authority and power. Children often see teachers as even more important than their parents. It’s wonderful when teachers are empathetic and skilled at building trust with children from the outset.
However, because every child is unique—in temperament, upbringing, and confidence—some children struggle if a teacher is too strict or demanding. If a child is afraid of the teacher, they may constantly feel anxious in class. If the teacher is overly critical, children may live in constant fear of making mistakes. Criticism, in particular, is a major source of stress for children at school. - High-achieving classmates. This factor affects children’s self-esteem. In a new environment, children may realize that some classmates can read, draw, or calculate faster than they can, leading to feelings of inferiority or envy. In these situations, it’s important for both teachers and parents to reassure kids that everyone learns at their own pace, and by the end of school, all children will have mastered the basics.
Example: Vanessa is a diligent second-grader, but when a new classmate joined and immediately excelled, Vanessa began coming home upset. Her mother, Kelly, noticed her daughter’s low mood and asked what was wrong. Vanessa explained that the new girl’s achievements made her feel discouraged.
Kelly said, “Vanessa, I understand how you feel. When I was your age, I had a classmate who made me feel the same way! Your grandmother encouraged me to focus on my own strengths. Let’s try that together: what does this new classmate do well, and what are your strengths?” Such conversations can help children see their own value and reduce stress by focusing on their unique abilities.
Important! If your child shares negative feelings with you, listen, support, and share your own childhood stories. This helps your child feel understood and less alone. - Bullying classmates. Another major emotional stressor comes from other children. Classrooms include kids of all personality types. Some children become arrogant or bossy due to how they are raised, while shy kids are more vulnerable. If you know there’s a child in your child’s class who likes to tease or dominate others, stay alert to signs your child may be experiencing bullying.
- Difficult subjects. Academic difficulties are also a source of anxiety. Some children absorb new information easily, while others find it much harder. Disliking a particular subject can lead to increasing stress. To help, work together on difficult topics, use memory games, or ask the teacher for extra support. Building confidence in their abilities can improve self-esteem and reduce stress.
- New routines and rules. Adapting to a new schedule and rules is another common stressor. Early mornings, sitting still, following instructions, and refraining from running or shouting can all be challenging, especially for very active children. If your child isn’t used to a structured routine before starting school, this adjustment may be difficult at first. Offer patience and support, help your child relax after school, and remember that the transition period takes time.
Advice:
The best ways to relieve stress are through emotional support and physical activity. These form the foundation for stress relief and can be adapted into a variety of activities to help improve your child’s mood and prevent stress from developing into depression. You can learn more about these strategies in our unique Parenting Mentor Test, which will help determine if your child is experiencing stress and offer practical tips for reducing it both in and out of school.
After-school Relaxation and Stress Relief Methods for Children:
- Positive communication with parents. This method is universally effective! In a supportive, positive family environment, stress is much less common. If a child knows they can talk to their parents—who will listen, understand, and offer encouragement—they’ll be far less affected by stress from school. Whether it’s helping with chores, having a chat, or sharing a laugh, the key is being present and open with your child.
- Keeping a diary. Writing about their day can help children process emotions and let go of worries. Although girls may be more likely to keep diaries, boys can benefit too, even if they don’t express their feelings on paper as easily.
- Relaxing with TV or movies. For children who are not particularly active, simply unwinding with a cartoon or a children’s film can help relieve stress.
- Creative activities. Activities such as drawing, dancing, acting, or playing with modeling clay can channel negative emotions into positive expression. Joining an art club or theater class can be particularly helpful.
- Helping at animal shelters. Volunteering at animal shelters or caring for pets helps children transform negative emotions into acts of kindness. Many children find comfort and confidence in caring for animals, and the unconditional love of pets can help reduce stress.
- Active play. Playing games like hide-and-seek, tag, or simply goofing around with family can improve everyone’s mood and relieve stress.
- Sports and relay races. Participating in sports or relay races (especially as a family team) helps burn off stress physically and promotes team spirit, bringing children and parents closer together.
- Swimming. Swimming is excellent for stress relief. Water relaxes both body and mind, and many children feel happier after splashing around in the pool.
- Jumping on a trampoline. Jumping releases endorphins (the happiness hormone), helping children quickly shift to a positive mood.
- Ice skating. Ice skating requires balance and concentration, which can help release both physical and emotional energy. After a good skating session, children often leave the ice smiling and stress-free.