If you’re wondering what to say about speech, behavior, social skills, or milestones not met, this page can help you organize your concerns and prepare for a productive conversation with your child’s doctor.
About this assessment
Share the developmental concern you want to bring up, and we’ll help you think through how to explain what you’re noticing, when to raise it, and what questions to ask your pediatrician about child development.
Many parents hesitate because they don’t want to overreact or they’re unsure whether what they’re seeing is significant. But if something feels off, it is appropriate to tell your child’s doctor. Whether you’re concerned about speech delay, social interaction, behavior, motor skills, or several areas at once, your observations matter. Pediatricians are used to these conversations and can help decide whether monitoring, developmental screening, referral, or reassurance makes sense.
Instead of saying only that you’re worried, share what you’ve noticed in daily life. For example: “My toddler uses fewer words than other children their age,” or “I’ve noticed they avoid eye contact and don’t point to show me things.”
Tell the doctor when you first noticed the concern, whether it is improving, staying the same, or becoming more noticeable, and whether it happens at home, daycare, preschool, or in multiple settings.
It is okay to say, “Can we talk about whether this is a developmental delay?” or “Can we do a developmental screening?” Clear questions help you leave the visit knowing what happens next.
Ask how your child’s skills compare with typical developmental milestones for their age and whether the doctor sees a need for closer follow-up.
If you are worried about autism, speech delay, motor delays, or broader developmental concerns, ask whether developmental screening, hearing evaluation, speech therapy, or specialist referral would be appropriate.
Ask which signs, changes, or missed milestones should prompt you to call sooner, and what kinds of progress would be reassuring to see at home.
You do not need to wait until a well visit if you are concerned. If your child has lost skills, is missing multiple milestones, has a noticeable speech delay, or you are concerned about autism, behavior, or social communication, it is reasonable to contact the pediatrician sooner. Early conversations can lead to earlier support, and asking questions does not mean anything has been decided about your child.
List the two or three things you most want to discuss so they are easier to explain during the visit, especially if you feel nervous or rushed.
Think about communication, play, movement, attention, behavior, and daily routines. Concrete examples help your pediatrician understand the full picture.
If a teacher, caregiver, therapist, or family member has noticed similar concerns, mention that. Patterns across settings can be useful information for the doctor.
Keep it simple and specific. You can say, “I’d like to talk about my child’s development because I’ve noticed a few things that concern me.” Then share examples, when you noticed them, and whether they happen often. You do not need to prove anything before asking.
Explain what your child is doing now and what seems hard for them. For example, mention how many words they use, whether they combine words, how well others understand them, and whether they follow directions or try to communicate in other ways. You can also ask whether a hearing check or speech-language referral makes sense.
Focus on the behaviors you are seeing rather than trying to make the case for a diagnosis. You might mention limited eye contact, not responding to name, repetitive behaviors, difficulty with social play, or language differences. It is appropriate to ask directly whether autism screening or referral would be helpful.
Ask whenever you have a concern, even if the next routine screening is not soon. If your child is missing milestones, has lost skills, or you are worried about speech, social communication, behavior, or learning, it is reasonable to request screening or a closer developmental review.
You can ask what specific changes to watch for, how long to monitor, and when to follow up. It is also reasonable to ask whether there are supportive services, screenings, or referrals that can happen while you continue to observe your child’s progress.
Personalized assessment
Answer a few questions about the developmental concern you want to discuss, and get clear, supportive guidance on how to explain what you’re noticing, what questions to ask, and when to bring it up.