Get clear, age-appropriate support for what to say, how to include a new child in play, and how to help your child make a new friend at the playground or in class.
About this assessment
Whether your child feels shy, struggles with the right words, or has a hard time handling a no, this short assessment helps you focus on the skill that will make welcoming a new child feel easier and more natural.
Many children want to be kind and inclusive but freeze in the moment. They may not know how to invite a new child to play, worry about being ignored, or only feel comfortable with familiar kids. A little coaching can help your child notice when someone is on the edge of a group, use simple words to invite them in, and stay calm if the interaction does not go as planned.
Teach one easy line your child can remember, such as “Do you want to play with us?” or “Want to build with me?” Simple words reduce pressure and make it easier to approach a new classmate or child at the playground.
Children often do better when the invitation is concrete. Instead of a broad “Want to play?”, try “Want to swing?” or “Do you want to draw with us?” Specific invitations help a new child know how to join.
Help your child learn what to say after the first question. They can add, “You can be on my team,” “We are making a road here,” or “You can sit by me.” This makes inclusion feel real, not just polite.
Try scripts like: “Do you want to go down the slide with me?” or “We are playing tag if you want to join.” These are easy for kids to remember and work well in active settings.
Useful phrases include: “Do you want to sit with me?” “Want to play at recess?” or “We are building a tower if you want to help.” These help children welcome a new classmate without overthinking it.
Give them a low-pressure script such as: “Hi, I’m playing over here if you want to come,” or “Do you want to do this with me?” Gentle wording can feel safer for shy children while still opening the door.
Practice one or two scripts for inviting a new child to play at home. Keep it brief and realistic so your child can use the words naturally when the opportunity comes.
Encourage your child to notice who is nearby, what they are doing, and whether there is a natural opening. This helps children include a new child in play in a way that feels smoother and more respectful.
Teach your child that a yes is great, a maybe is okay, and a no is not a failure. Knowing how to respond calmly helps them keep trying and builds real friendship skills over time.
Start with one short script and practice it in a calm moment. Keep the goal small, such as making eye contact, saying hi, or offering one simple invitation. Shy children often do better with predictable words and specific activities rather than open-ended social pressure.
The easiest invitations are short and specific: “Want to play tag?” “Do you want to build with me?” or “You can join us.” These phrases are easier for children to remember and easier for the other child to respond to.
Help your child respond with something calm like “Okay, maybe later” and then move on. A no can mean the child is busy, shy, or unsure, not that your child did something wrong. Learning to handle that moment well is part of building social confidence.
Encourage inviting language instead of directing language. Phrases like “Do you want to join?” or “You can play with us if you want” feel warmer than telling another child what to do. You can also teach your child to make space by offering a role, turn, or spot in the activity.
Yes. Many children stay with familiar peers because it feels safer. With practice, they can learn how to approach a new child, use a simple script, and build comfort step by step. The key is repetition, not pressure.
Personalized assessment
Answer a few questions in the assessment to find practical next steps, supportive scripts, and focused strategies that match your child’s biggest challenge.