If your child says they want to die, talks about suicide, or seems at risk, you need clear next steps. Get calm, expert-backed guidance on what to say, how to keep your child safe, and how to get the right help.
Start with how urgent things feel right now, and we’ll help you think through immediate safety, supportive language, and the next steps to take.
Hearing your child say they want to die can feel overwhelming, but your response matters. Stay with your child, speak calmly, and avoid arguing, minimizing, or assuming they are saying it just for attention. Let them know you’re glad they told you, that they are not alone, and that you will help keep them safe. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. You can also call or text 988 for immediate crisis support.
Try: “Thank you for telling me. I’m really glad you said something. I’m here with you.” A steady, nonjudgmental tone can help your child feel safer and more willing to keep talking.
You can ask: “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” Asking directly does not put the idea in their head. It helps you understand risk and shows your child you can handle the truth.
Skip phrases like “You don’t mean that” or “You have so much to live for.” Instead say: “I want to understand what you’re feeling, and we’re going to get help together.”
Do not leave your child alone if you are concerned about suicide risk. Stay nearby, reduce isolation, and make sure another trusted adult can help if needed.
Secure or remove medications, sharp objects, ropes, cords, firearms, and other potentially dangerous items. If there are firearms in the home, store them unloaded, locked, and separate from ammunition, or remove them from the home entirely during a crisis.
If your child has a plan, access to means, has taken action, or you believe they may act soon, seek emergency help right away. Call or text 988, call 911, or go to the nearest emergency department.
Pay attention to statements about wanting to die, hopelessness, feeling like a burden, giving away belongings, sudden withdrawal, intense mood changes, self-harm, or searching for ways to die.
A recent breakup, bullying, loss, depression, substance use, major conflict, or a sudden drop in functioning can increase risk. Trust your instincts if your child seems different in a worrying way.
You do not need the perfect words to help. Start the conversation, stay present, and involve professional support. Early action is better than waiting to see if it passes.
If your child is having suicidal thoughts, contact their pediatrician, therapist, school counselor, or a local mental health provider as soon as possible. Ask specifically for a suicide risk evaluation and guidance on safety planning. If your child already has a therapist, let them know what was said and how recent it was. If support is not immediately available, use 988 for crisis guidance while you arrange follow-up care.
Take it seriously, stay with your child, and respond calmly. Ask directly whether they are thinking about suicide or hurting themselves. Remove access to dangerous items and get immediate help if there is a plan, access to means, or urgent risk. Call or text 988 for crisis support, or call 911/go to the ER if there is immediate danger.
Use clear, direct, nonjudgmental language. You can say, “I’m glad you told me,” and “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” Asking about suicide does not cause suicidal thoughts. It helps your child feel seen and helps you understand how serious the situation is.
Warning signs can include talking about death, hopelessness, self-harm, withdrawal, giving away possessions, sudden mood shifts, or looking for ways to die. Respond by staying close, asking direct questions, reducing access to lethal means, and contacting a mental health professional or crisis support right away.
Say things like, “Thank you for telling me,” “You don’t have to handle this alone,” and “I’m going to help keep you safe.” Avoid arguing, lecturing, or trying to talk them out of their feelings. Focus on listening, safety, and getting support.
Stay with your child if risk feels active, remove or lock up medications and sharp objects, secure or remove firearms, and limit time alone. Reach out to crisis support or emergency services if your child may act on suicidal thoughts or you cannot keep them safe at home.
Answer a few questions to get a clearer sense of urgency, practical safety steps, and guidance on what to say and where to turn for help next.
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