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Stalking and Harassment by an Ex: Protect Yourself and Your Children

If your ex keeps contacting you, showing up at your home, or involving the kids in harassment after divorce, get clear next steps for documenting behavior, protecting your family, and understanding legal options.

Answer a few questions to get guidance for ex stalking and harassment

Share what is happening now so you can get personalized guidance on safety planning, documenting evidence like texts and unwanted visits, and possible steps such as custody-related protections or a restraining order.

How unsafe do you feel right now because of your ex’s behavior?
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When an ex will not stop, it is more than a co-parenting conflict

Repeated unwanted contact, surprise visits, monitoring, threats, and using the children to reach you can create fear and instability long after a divorce. This page is designed for parents dealing with ex stalking and harassment who need practical, calm guidance. You will find help for common concerns such as how to document stalking after divorce, what to do if your ex is harassing you and the kids, and how to reduce contact while protecting your parenting responsibilities.

What parents in this situation often need right away

A safer communication plan

Learn how to limit unnecessary contact, use written channels when appropriate, and reduce opportunities for harassment during co-parenting exchanges and scheduling.

Clear documentation steps

Organize text messages, call logs, screenshots, dates, locations, and witness details so you have stronger harassment evidence if you need legal support.

Child-focused protection

Build a safety plan for kids when an ex is stalking, including pickup routines, school communication, emergency contacts, and age-appropriate instructions.

Signs the behavior may require immediate legal attention

Your ex keeps showing up uninvited

Unexpected appearances at your house, work, school, or exchange locations can be a serious warning sign, especially when they continue after you have asked for no contact.

The children are being pulled into the harassment

If your ex sends messages through the kids, questions them about you, pressures them to share information, or frightens them, the situation may need faster intervention.

The contact is escalating

More frequent messages, threats, surveillance, property damage, or attempts to isolate you from support may point to a pattern that goes beyond ordinary post-divorce conflict.

Documentation can make a major difference

If you are wondering how to document ex stalking after divorce, consistency matters. Save text messages, voicemails, emails, social media contact, photos, and records of in-person incidents. Keep a dated log of what happened, where it happened, who saw it, and how it affected you or the children. If your ex keeps showing up at your house after divorce, note each visit and whether law enforcement, neighbors, or family members witnessed it. Strong records can help when exploring legal steps for ex stalking and harassment.

Possible next steps to discuss based on your situation

Restraining or protective order options

If you are asking how to get a restraining order against an ex spouse, the right path often depends on your state, the evidence available, and whether the children are also at risk.

Custody and exchange adjustments

Courts may consider changes to communication methods, pickup locations, supervised exchanges, or other parenting arrangements when harassment affects safety.

Support for your family’s daily safety

You may need a plan for home security, school notifications, trusted adults, and what to do if your ex contacts the children directly or appears unexpectedly.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do if my ex is harassing me and the kids?

Focus first on immediate safety. Reduce direct contact when possible, keep communication in a form that can be saved, document every incident, and consider notifying the children’s school or caregivers if there is a risk of unwanted contact. If there are threats, stalking, or fear of harm, contact local law enforcement or a domestic violence resource in your area.

Can text messages from my ex be used as harassment evidence?

Often yes. Save screenshots, full message threads, dates, times, and any related call logs or voicemails. Avoid editing or deleting messages. Organized records can be useful when speaking with an attorney, advocate, or court about ongoing harassment.

How can I co-parent with an ex who will not stop contacting me?

When contact becomes excessive or abusive, many parents need stricter boundaries. That can include limiting communication to child-related topics, using written channels only, setting exchange rules, and exploring whether court-approved communication tools or custody modifications are appropriate.

How do I protect children from an ex who stalks or shows up unexpectedly?

Create a child safety plan with clear pickup procedures, trusted adults, school instructions, and simple guidance for what children should do if they see the other parent unexpectedly. Keep the plan age-appropriate and avoid putting children in the middle of adult conflict.

When should I look into a restraining order against an ex spouse?

If there is a pattern of stalking, threats, repeated unwanted contact, intimidation, or fear for your safety or your children’s safety, it may be time to ask about a restraining or protective order. Requirements vary by state, so local legal advice or advocacy support can help you understand your options.

Get personalized guidance for stalking and harassment by an ex

Answer a few questions to get a clearer plan for documentation, child safety, communication boundaries, and possible legal steps based on what your family is facing right now.

Answer a Few Questions

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