Top 10 Severe Effects of Angry Parents on Children
One common emotional response to stressful or difficult situations is anger. This negative feeling often arises when someone is upset or faced with challenges. Unfortunately, some parents also struggle to manage their anger in their relationships with their children.- Yelling at your child. Children learn how to behave by observing their parents. Have you noticed that children who are resentful or don’t get what they want often mimic the gestures and words their parents use when they’re angry? Children don’t inherit this behavior; they learn it at home.
When a mother or father yells, it only increases a child’s own anger and irritability. This can break the child’s spirit, upset their emotional balance, and make it difficult for them to communicate with adults in the future. The child may believe they are less loved when you’re angry, shout, or punish them. Expressing anger in front of a child creates a barrier to positive communication, fostering fear and distrust.
Shouting makes children withdraw, shut down, and become unresponsive to adults. When parents yell and instill fear, children hide their true emotions. As adults, they may express sudden aggression or unjustified cruelty. Some may turn to the “streets” for solutions, exposing themselves to risks like substance abuse or bad influences. With weakened willpower, they struggle to resist negativity from the outside world. - Punishing your child. Punishment often fails to correct behavior; instead, it may simply replace one mistake with another, sometimes more damaging to the child’s mental health. Punishment can make children fear losing their parents’ love. A punished child might feel hostility towards their parents, leading to an internal conflict.
On one hand, children know they shouldn’t rebel against adults, but on the other, they are too dependent to risk open conflict, especially since they still love their parents. When love and resentment meet, inner turmoil follows. Children often seek attention—even negative attention—if they don’t receive love. Sometimes, misbehaving is easier for them than always being obedient and kind. - Showing indifference during or after an argument with your child. Saying things like, “Do what you want, I don’t care,” can hurt as much as constant restrictions. Indifference from parents can cause psychological trauma that affects a child throughout their life.
- Forgetting you are a role model for conflict behavior. Children learn by copying their parents. If they constantly see you fighting or swearing, they’ll adopt aggressive conflict strategies. This becomes especially clear in adolescence, when negative emotions are magnified. Children repeat what you do, not what you say. Aim to resolve conflicts constructively and respectfully. With time, your child will follow suit.
- Difficulties in your child’s future family relationships. Children internalize their parents’ communication styles. If frequent conflict is the norm, they may lack the tools to build healthy relationships later. Would you want your child’s adult life to repeat these patterns?
Advice:
Our unique Parenting Mentor Test helps you discover the potential consequences of holding a grudge against your child. Taking the test can help you reflect on your feelings, better understand your child, and receive recommendations on changing your parenting approach and improving your family life. - Breakdown of core values. A child’s development of healthy values is harmed when family life is dominated by hostility and anger. It is hard to encourage qualities like love, tolerance, and cooperation when negative emotions rule at home.
- Chronic inner conflict in the child. In this state, children struggle to accept and value themselves. This leads to low self-esteem, insecurity, depression, and even neuroses—problems that often arise in adulthood for those repeatedly exposed to parental conflict in childhood.
- Lower immunity. Every argument is stressful for children, and constant stress weakens the body’s immune system, leading to psychosomatic illnesses. For this reason, children in conflict-ridden families are often sick.
- Developmental disorders. Ongoing stress and anxiety can delay children’s development, especially with speech. They may start talking late, stutter, or develop other speech disorders. Inability to focus and vision problems may also arise. Chronic stress affects brain development, negatively impacting a child’s overall growth.
- Hatred and aggression towards one gender may develop. Sometimes, experiencing aggression from a parent may cause children to develop hostility or disinterest towards one gender, depending on which parent was the aggressor. This isn’t rare and may show up in subtle ways in adulthood.
It’s essential to monitor your child’s emotional state after family arguments. If you notice changes in mood or behavior, spend more time with them and show love and care. Rebuilding a sense of security and emotional balance is crucial.