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If Your Child Is Bullied: What to Say and What to Do Next

Get clear, supportive guidance for how to respond when your child says they are being bullied, how to help them open up, and how to support them at school without making the situation feel bigger than it already does.

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Share how concerned you are right now and get practical next steps for talking with your child, spotting signs of bullying, and deciding how to respond calmly and effectively.

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Start with calm, steady support

If you think your child is being bullied, the first step is to create a sense of safety. Let them know you believe them, you are glad they told you, and they do not have to handle this alone. Try to listen without rushing to solve everything in the moment. Many children open up more when parents stay calm, ask simple questions, and avoid pressing for every detail at once. A supportive conversation can help your child feel understood and make it easier to decide what to do next.

What to say to a child who is being bullied

Lead with belief and reassurance

Say things like, “I’m really glad you told me,” or “I’m sorry this is happening.” This helps your child feel heard instead of questioned.

Ask gentle, open questions

Try, “Can you tell me what happened?” or “When does this usually happen?” Open questions help your child share at their own pace.

Avoid blame or pressure

Skip comments that suggest they caused it or should have handled it differently. Focus on support, safety, and next steps together.

Signs your child may be bullied

Emotional changes

Watch for increased sadness, irritability, anxiety, or sudden reluctance to talk about school, friends, or social situations.

Behavior around school

Frequent complaints about stomachaches, wanting to stay home, changes in grades, or avoiding the bus, lunch, or certain activities can be important clues.

Social withdrawal

A child who stops seeing friends, seems isolated, or becomes unusually quiet after school may be struggling with peer conflict or bullying.

How parents can help if bullying is happening at school

Document what your child shares

Write down dates, places, people involved, and what happened. Clear notes can help when you speak with teachers, counselors, or school staff.

Work with the school calmly

Reach out to the teacher, counselor, or administrator with specific concerns and ask what support plan can be put in place to protect your child.

Keep checking in at home

Even after contacting the school, continue asking how things are going. Ongoing support helps your child feel less alone and more willing to speak up.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should parents do when their child is bullied?

Start by listening calmly, reassuring your child, and gathering basic facts without overwhelming them. If the bullying involves school, document what happened and contact the appropriate staff member to discuss support and safety steps.

How do I talk to my child about being bullied if they do not want to open up?

Choose a quiet moment, keep your tone gentle, and ask simple open-ended questions. You can also talk while doing something together, like driving or walking, since some children share more when eye contact feels less intense.

What should I say to comfort a child who is bullied?

Say that you believe them, you are sorry this is happening, and you will work through it together. Avoid minimizing the experience or jumping straight into advice before they feel heard.

When should I contact the school about bullying?

Contact the school when the behavior is repeated, affects your child’s emotional well-being, involves threats or physical harm, or is interfering with attendance, learning, or daily functioning.

How can I support a bullied child without making them feel embarrassed?

Follow your child’s pace, involve them in decisions when possible, and explain any next steps before taking action. This helps them feel respected and less powerless.

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Answer a few questions to receive a focused assessment and practical next steps for how to respond, what to say, and how to help your child feel safer and more supported.

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