If your child is afraid to speak up, unsure what to say, or worried reporting will make things worse, you can take practical steps to help them tell a trusted adult and get support at school.
Share what is making reporting hard right now, and get clear next steps for helping your child speak up, prepare what to say, and decide who to contact.
A child should report bullying when they feel unsafe, when the behavior is repeated, when there is physical aggression, threats, humiliation, exclusion, harassment online, or any situation that is affecting their well-being or ability to learn. Many children stay quiet because they fear retaliation or think adults will not help. Parents can reduce that fear by explaining that reporting is not tattling—it is a way to protect safety, set boundaries, and involve adults who are responsible for responding.
Let your child know you believe them and that they did the right thing by telling you. A calm response makes it easier for them to keep talking and consider reporting at school.
Children often know something is wrong but do not know how to explain it. Help them rehearse a simple script such as: “I need help. This has happened more than once, and I do not feel safe.”
Identify one or two trusted adults at school, such as a teacher, counselor, assistant principal, or coach. Knowing exactly who to approach can lower the barrier to speaking up.
Encourage your child to share who was involved, what happened, where it happened, when it happened, and whether there were witnesses. Specific details help adults respond more effectively.
It helps to explain how the bullying is affecting your child, such as fear, stress, avoiding class, trouble sleeping, or not wanting to go to school. This shows why support is needed now.
Teach your child to end with a direct request: “Can you help me with this?” or “What should I do if it happens again?” This builds self-advocacy and invites action.
Ask what they think will happen if they tell. Some children fear being called a snitch, being ignored, or facing more bullying. Naming the fear helps you respond to the real concern.
Your child may be more willing to report if you are present, if they write it down first, or if they speak with a counselor instead of the person they are most nervous about approaching.
Children are more likely to speak up again when they see that adults stay involved. Check in with the school, document what was shared, and ask how the situation will be monitored.
If your child cannot report on their own, parents can step in while still supporting self-advocacy. Contact the teacher, counselor, or school administrator with a factual summary of what happened, when it occurred, and what impact it is having. Ask about the school’s reporting process, safety plan, and follow-up steps. If your child has reported before and nothing changed, it is reasonable to document prior reports and request a more formal response.
A child should report bullying when the behavior is repeated, threatening, physical, humiliating, discriminatory, online, or making them feel unsafe or unable to focus at school. Children should not be expected to manage ongoing bullying by themselves.
Start by listening calmly and validating their experience. Ask what feels hardest about reporting, then help them choose a trusted adult and practice a few simple sentences. Giving them a plan and some control often works better than pushing them to speak immediately.
Take that fear seriously. Ask why they believe that, whether there have been threats, and what kind of support would help them feel safer. You can work with the school on a discreet reporting plan, supervision changes, and follow-up so your child does not feel left alone after speaking up.
Keep your message clear and factual. Describe what happened, how often it has happened, where it occurs, who is involved, and how it is affecting your child. Ask what immediate steps will be taken, who will follow up, and how the school will help prevent it from continuing.
Document the earlier report, note any continued incidents, and contact the school again with a request for a more specific response plan. Ask who is responsible for follow-up, what interventions will be used, and when you can expect an update.
Answer a few questions to get practical next steps tailored to your child’s reporting barrier, including how to build confidence, prepare what to say, and decide when and how to involve the school.
Answer a Few QuestionsExplore more assessments in this topic group.
See related assessments across this category.
Find more parenting assessments by category and topic.
Self-Advocacy
Self-Advocacy
Self-Advocacy
Self-Advocacy